you’re in my web now

As most of you well know, last year (and to this day) my co-workers and I were tortured and abused by my bitter, ex-actor, recovering alcoholic creep show boss who had a bloated sense of self-importance and painfully inflicted with delusions of grandeur. No, no, don’t worry folks. Nothing like Abu Ghraib, but something like it.

I dedicate this blog to thanking him for the following:

· Taking out all his problems on his employees then justifying his behavior by reminding you that he’s boss.

· Showing up to work at 4pm and keeping people past 6pm to get his day done.

· Screaming at me that I failed when I didn’t even have a chance to fail him.

· Insisting his personal shit is as important as his business stuff even though you were hired and there for the business.

· Designating the women in the business to administrative tasks automatically while offering ample opportunity to the men.

· Posting my job instead of speaking to me about improvements I needed to make… At the end of a month-long stint of unpaid over-time and busting my ass on a sales paper and presentation that I didn’t have the skill set, authority, or experience to tackle.

· Even when he was generous and gave us things, he would expect the utmost graciousness, approval, and worship for his kindness.

· Victimizing himself regularly with the responsibilities of being boss.

· Telling his son that its not too hard to be better than him at something.

· Twisting every horrible thing he does to people into something they did wrong when reacting to it.

· Taking my time and holidays away from me and my sister out of spite, anger, or frustration.

· During this post 9/11 era, wanting to fire the car service for having to drive around the block per police orders instead of being at the curb when he walked out of the airport terminal.

· Making me get free shipping from people he never gave business to again anyway.

· Establishing the façade of a “cool” office environment and ruling it with furious anxiety.

· Giving me nightmares.

· Making Xanex and a chiropractor necessary.

· Feeling like he’s wasting money if his employees took a lunch break, were friendly to one another, or were not glued to their computer working on something just for him.

· Only paying us once a month because it saved him $50.

· Manifesting the very things he was paranoid of by being paranoid and actively trying to thwart them.

· Subjecting some of us to naked pictures of him and other college buddies.

· Apologizing readily to the guys in the office for his behavior, then expect the women to actively seek one.

· Apologizing for being a fuck-head bastard and expect you to just accept it and move on without any emotional ramifications.

· Terrorizing everyone daily.

· Expecting well-formulated, concise, perfectly diagrammed answers to his bullet fire questions on the spot.

· Being so bitter at the life he had instead of the playboy movie star life he always dreamed of and taking his misery out on everyone.

· Lecturing new people on their mean-spirited sarcasm and playfulness all the while being actually mean-spirited.

· Expecting interns and employees to scrape gum off the sidewalk and dump the trash illegally.

· Choosing favorites based on how secure they make him feel about himself.

· Letting amazingly talented, kind-hearted people run his company, and then take credit for it.

· Hating it when people actually utilized the office kitchen and even would let them go.

· Expecting the cleaning people to work for a measly $11 an hour and then demand they stay as long as it took to find every spec of dust imaginable.

· Make the women in the office clean if a cleaning person couldn’t be scheduled or hired for the shitty pay and conditions.

· Threatening to fire me if I didn’t change my voicemail box because it had the office hours on it when no one ever even left me message (and I was waiting because my voice sounded sick).

· Expecting us to flawlessly paint, do construction, industrial clean, make high-tech purchases, scan, forge, and lie despite it being out of our range of skill, job description, or morals.

· Taking for granted his 5 minute commute around the corner when others sometimes had hours to get home.

· Expecting rock star treatment without paying rock star money or rock star cred.

· Making me call AMEX and get him refunds on just about anything and everything he could think of getting out of paying for.

· Using his authority to make people change into what boosted his ego most.

· Screaming at me for not knowing to get him into a special screening of I Heart Huckabees per David O. Russel’s request, then when I did, instead of giving me credit for talking him up to Fox, gave himself credit for being the guy Fox was falling over to serve.

· Making Michael McDonald happen.

Please: to those of you who can contribute your experience with this guy or your version of him, please do. Thanks. Writing this out really helped.

This entry was posted on Monday, August 22nd, 2005 at 10:19 p and is filed under anthrobiology, pissed. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.