Reasons why I Suck
I hate multiple choice questions.
I wish my cat had an opposable thumb so she could fetch me beer.
I space out while moving.
I can’t pay attention when people talk to me.
I like pink.
I urge to love and nurture the very things that don’t want me to.
I hate soft drinks.
I hate fast food.
I hate soap operas.
I hate sexist commercials.
I hate slim fast and diet pills.
I hate killing predators.
I hate shoulder pads– especially in transparent shirts.
I like the words “grodey” “punk” and “asinine”.
I say, “mean people are people too”.
My favorite movies are It’s a Wonderful Life and Clockwork Orange.
My favorite books are Clockwork Orange and Lassie Come Home.
I hate fantasies surrounding Catholic schoolgirls.
I hate that my best friend died in high school.
I believe in the citizens carrying guns if the cops get to.
I hate Pat Robertson with a furious passion.
I hate that my brain knows better but my heart argues.
I hate that my heart always wins.
I hate it when somebody comments, “That was random,” after most things I say.
I like monsters, dragons, dinosaurs, and crustaceans.
I want to be a Rock Star sometimes.
I hate 9-5 jobs.
I hate corporate bullies.
I hate infertility, asthma, and cancer caused by industrial pollutants.
I hate that Garfield won’t die, goddammit.
I think that princess Di and Regis are so over-rated.
I have a sick fascination with killer bees.
I love firetrucks.
I think Eminem kicks ass.
I often use curse words.
I write bad poems… and lists that are even worse.